I was recently talking to a lady who is in her 90's and she was telling me that she is ugly and has been her whole life. I asked her why she thought that and she told me of an incident when she was 7 years old where a friend of her moms had come to the house for tea, while there this little girl was playing in the next room and the lady said to the mother, how can you stand having such an ugly child? This little girl heard it and immediately believed the lie this woman had spoken. The sad thing, she is a beautiful woman but for 80 years has believed the opposite due to the unkind words of one person. She gave that woman power over her without even realizing it and has continued to live under that power.
I met man who was in his 50's and said he would never amount to anything in this life. I asked him why and he said his dad told him so often while he was growing up that he guessed it was true. He has jumped from one job to another all his life constantly feeling like a failure.
I was talking to a young person who said they had no friends, I asked why and they informed me that one person started telling others falsehoods about them and everyone believed them and so avoided them. The consequence was a lonely young person who was hurting very badly.
I overheard a woman tell another woman out of the blue "that dress does nothing for you". The other woman looked shocked because she had not asked this person what she thought. I later asked the woman who had been hurt if this other woman was a close friend and she said no, they had only had a casual relationship and seldom saw each other. Really who needs friends like that?
A friend was recently telling someone about a medical issue they were having and the other person immediately began to tell them about every person they knew who had a bad experience with that same issue. Not one word of hope given just all the negatives.
A mom of 8 was telling me that she is often told by others, even complete strangers, that they are so glad that they don't have that many children, or that she is nuts to have so many.
A guy I know decided to get a new haircut and people who hardly knew him would come up and say what on earth have you done to your hair ? Really? What business is it of theirs anyway. Relax people it is just a haircut, it grows back.
I remember once hurting a dear friend by my careless words about a dish she had prepared for her family, instead of asking for a sample to taste, I informed her it looked like dog food. I cringe now remembering how badly I hurt her. Those words can never be taken back even though I asked and was granted forgiveness.
Our nation today is bombarded with careless words.
I could go on and on of things people have said to others that are just plain hurtful or at the very least unthoughtful.
The bible addresses this issue quite clearly in Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
I do not think we truly understand the power our words have in the lives of others.
So my encouragement to all of us is to think before we speak. It is better to remain silent unless someone asks for our opinion and even then we need to season our words with grace and be kind. Lets be a people who encourage others, who are like a breath of fresh air because we say things that edify and do not tear down. Try it this week, you will find that the fruit is much sweeter. And the best part...the Lord will be pleased.
Grace and Peace,
Sherry
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